I had a post planned for today…but it’s just not happening. Because today I’ve had the crazies. Meaning it’s been one of those days that I have temporarily lost my perspective and wish to escape (which today was to my room where I scarfed down 3 pouches of fruit snacks). Today was one of those days when the crazies tell me lies about motherhood and allow the “grumpies” to settle in and unpack their bags. My toddler has had a bad case of the flu the last 3 days and has been exploding from both ends, and I’ve also been watching my niece the last week and a half who is supposabley “potty trained.” Let’s keep the details at a minimum and just say I’ve had my fair share of cleaning up unlimited amounts of bodily fluids in all varieties. And I’m barely keeping my own stomach contents where they belong.
I don’t expect this post to be of particular interest to anyone, but I post it anyway because sometimes motherhood isn’t all butterflies and unicorns. Sometimes it’s more like…stinky feet…something I feel I want to be very far away from. This morning was one of those days. Yesterday my little girl slept almost all day (in between the explosive episodes), and wished only to sleep in my arms. After a few incidents I finally got smart and layered myself in towels. It was my second day in a row of doing absolutely nothing but hold my sick baby, and I looked at the messy house and felt as if my head was about to explode. I felt my mind slipping into discouragement as I felt like I had accomplished nothing.
Then all those cliché phrases started going through my head. You know, the ones where people tell you to enjoy every moment because kids grow up too fast? I realized that this was the first time in a long time that I was able to just hold her. As she has progressed into an active toddler our cuddling days have passed and there have been many moments that I wished she would just sit still and let me squeeze her longer than five seconds. As exhausting as it had been to clean up her insides repeatedly all day long, and as much as I wanted her to be better, I had to remind myself that I really do enjoy the opportunity to hold her close. In a moment where I felt helpless in taking away her pain, at least I could give her comfort. I realized that I was letting the world’s view of what makes a “successful day” keep me from enjoying my current sacrifice.
Wasn’t that a great lesson to learn? Well that was yesterday; and although that was a great lesson to learn, today I had to be reminded once again. Because today I honestly expected her to be better, and I had a list of things I was going to accomplish. When my first 5 minutes of life this morning consisted of my niece not making it to the bathroom and my baby exploding the contents of her diaper all over me, the grumpies started making way into my heart. It wasn’t until I watched this video that I finally sent the grumpies back home, humbled myself and shed a few tears of weakness.
I love M. Russell Ballard’s statement, “The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.”
I had to admit to myself that today is just “one of those days,” and just like the magical and delightful moments, it’s all a part of motherhood. Days like today make days like tomorrow all the better. Thank goodness for new days.
Here’s one mom’s opinion on how to keep perspective in motherhood.
What helps you find perspective on the hard days?