Positive parenting skills! Something we all desire, right? It’s amazing the difference that can come from getting a fresh perspective on parenting, and some added parenting skills you can start practicing and using. I once attended a parenting class where a bedtime tip was shared. It was so simple, and yet it has been incredible effective in our home. The tip was this:
Give your kids 3 bedtime privileges. For their home, it was nightlight, water bottle, and audio books while they fell asleep. Each time they got out of bed or the parents had to go into the room, one of the privileges were taken away. They didn’t have to yell, or scream at them to go to bed, the kids understood that they would simply walk in quietly and remove one of the 3 things. If there was a second offense, the same scenario repeated. It only took 2 nights before the bedtime drama completely ended.
In our home, the 3 things are: Sippy cups, night-light, and door open. Our kids stay in their bed and go to sleep.
I learned from this parenting class that the principles being taught were from the book Parenting with Love and Logic. We all know that every parenting tip doesn’t work for every child, but the great thing about reading some parenting books is that there are lots and lots of creative ideas and tips: some you can implement and experiment with and others you can simply ignore if they aren’t for you.
I recently did a Facebook Poll asking parents which parenting books changed their parenting for the better or completely changed the way they parented, and the feel of their home. Here are the top suggested parenting books:
Positive Parenting Books That Teach the Parenting Skills You We are Looking For
This parenting book shows you the parenting skills for raising self-confident, motivated children who are ready for the real world. Learn how to parent effectively while teaching your children responsibility and growing their character.
Establish healthy control through easy-to-implement steps without anger, threats, nagging, or power struggles.
For twenty-five years, Positive Discipline has been the gold standard reference for grown-ups working with children. Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells us, but mutual respect. Nelsen coaches parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child–from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager–can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss of dignity. Inside you’ll discover how to
• bridge communication gaps
• defuse power struggles
• avoid the dangers of praise
• enforce your message of love
• build on strengths, not weaknesses
• hold children accountable with their self-respect intact
• teach children not what to think but how to think
• win cooperation at home and at school
• meet the special challenge of teen misbehavior
From the authors of The #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages, this book is bound to change the way you see each child, and how you use their love languages to correct and discipline more effectively. Any parent that has more than one child knows that each kid comes with their own unique personality, and often responds to discipline differently than others. Understanding their love language will give you the parenting skills you need to build a foundation of unconditional love for your child.
Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children to understand and regulate their emotional world. And as acclaimed psychologist and researcher John Gottman shows, once they master this important life skill, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step “emotion coaching” process that teaches how to:
-Be aware of a child’s emotions
-Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
-Listen empathetically and validate a child’s feelings
-Label emotions in words a child can understand
-Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation
Written for parents of children of all ages, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will enrich the bonds between parent and child and contribute immeasurably to the development of a generation of emotionally healthy adults.
This book not only tells you great ideas for what you should be doing (along with the research that proves that THIS is the most effective way to raise children!), but shows you step-by-step EXACTLY how to do it. It covers several real situations and its principles can be applies to a variety of different cases with ease.
I appreciated this review:
“I have six kids of my own. I found myself looking to other parents for practical evidence of how to be a better dad. There is one man in particular who had perfect kids, and perfect house and, well you know the rest. I got a lot of good ideas from watching him with his children.
Later I ran across this book, and it put into words the very same things that I saw him DO.
It wasn’t until about 2/3 of the way through the book, as I was incidentally recommending to a friend, that I noticed that my “good example friend” appeared on this cover. Turns out his dad wrote the book.
I can tell you with certainty that a parent with the willingness to change (not just a desire) can turn their family around with a little guidance.
There is no other book you NEED. Just add work.”
The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Tell Your Family History, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More
In The Secrets of Happy Families, New York Times bestselling author Bruce Feiler has drawn up a blueprint for modern families — a new approach to family dynamics, inspired by cutting-edge techniques gathered from experts in the disciplines of science, business, sports, and the military.
The result is a funny and thought-provoking playbook for contemporary families, with more than 200 useful strategies, including: the right way to have family dinner, what your mother never told you about sex (but should have), and why you should always have two women present in difficult conversations…
Timely, compassionate, and filled with practical tips and wise advice, Bruce Feiler’sThe Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More should be required reading for all parents.
The ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe) with a new foreword—and available as an ebook for the first time—a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors.
Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish “are doing for parenting today what Dr. Spock did for our generation” (Parent Magazine). Now, this bestselling classic includes fresh insights and suggestions as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships, including innovative ways to:
· Cope with your child’s negative feelings, such as frustration, anger, and disappointment
· Express your strong feelings without being hurtful
· Engage your child’s willing cooperation
· Set firm limits and maintain goodwill
· Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline
· Understand the difference between helpful and unhelpful praise
· Resolve family conflicts peacefully
Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth.
Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.
Being an effective parent is not based in technique, but in who you are as a person. Marianne Clyde, Licensed Marriage and family Therapist teaches parents step by step how to be secure in who they are and thus transfer that confidence and power to their children. Based on 10 essential principles, simple to understand and live out, this book enables parents to focus on the child’s needs and create a safe, secure space for the child to thrive. Learn to address conflict and defiance with wisdom and self assurance. Learn to hear the unspoken messages behind the behavior. Learn to focus on the positives, rather than the negatives, thus eliciting more cooperation and healthy responses from your kids! Learn to be mindful, peaceful and powerful in your parenting. Marianne will walk you through it simply and effectively. If you follow these principles, your home will be more respectful, more peaceful and more fun.