Sorry if you’re here to find tips to get your baby to sleep through the night as this isn’t one of those posts. Instead, I hope to give you a chuckle and have you nod along to the points listed here, which are all about sleeping babies.
When baby is sleeping…
You will make new choices on what you eat. Yep, sleeping babies = quiet foods. If you want some chips from a crinkly bag, you better open them in the basement! Want your food heated up in the microwave? You better open that puppy up before it counts down to zero and beeps!
Your phone/computer/camera/glass of water/remote/notebook will be RIGHT out of your reach. This is of course true for babies sleeping soundly on you, especially during those early newborn weeks.
You will find every squeaky floorboard in the house. That or you will do a creepy dance down the hallway hitting all the non squeaky spots along the way. It will be quite a dance to watch dad do!
You will inevitably forget to turn your phone volume down, drop anything you carry and set off every motion sensor toy in the room. Seriously, you’re never as loud as when you’re trying to be quiet. It’s science.
You will flash a death stare to anyone who sneezes too loudly. Don’t be surprised to see my husband jump out of his seat and RUN downstairs to the basement to let out a big sneeze that was building up. He learned his lesson week one of newborn parenting!
Dad will sleep soundly even when baby wakes up. Upon giving birth moms gain the ability to wake up upon hearing a baby stir but for some reason dads to not generally gain this super power.
You will hear the volume of the world around you in a whole new light. Why are those loud speakers in stores SOOOO loud? And don’t even get me started on the squeaky wheels on the carts at home depot.
But on a more serious note, to help combat some of these issues, I CANNOT recommend a noise maker enough! We use one every night since she first came home from the hospital. It helps to settle my daughter and block out the world around her — which as you can see from my above list, mostly involves the noises my husband innocently makes!