Alright, listen up all my little people, before I get into the nitty-gritty of our 2-year old woes, I would like to direct your attention to the giveaway I am hosting for y’all.
Don’t worry, I know it’s hard to hold your attention too long, so feel free to skip ahead and enter the giveaway (or tell your mom to enter it for you). But please come back.
I have something that I just have to get off my chest. It’s the phrase “terrible twos.” The phrase makes me want to just scream (and sometimes I do). We come into this world all cute and cuddly and everyone wants to pinch our cute little cheeks, and then we turn 2 and WHAM! All of a sudden we are terrible? Puh-lease. I’m not buying it. And I’m tired of everyone acting like we are predestined to be terrible from the start. I can’t tell you how many times someone has come up to my mom and asked, “has she reached the terrible two’s yet?”
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That’s worse than when my dad asks my mom, “By chance are you about to start your period?” Soooo not okay.
So let’s get a few things straight. We aren’t terrible, we are actually quite loving. There’s just a few things you need to understand about us. And here they are:
1. FOOD. This one is important. My parents think I’m the pickiest eater on the planet. What they don’t realize is that I came into this world eating nothing but milk for a straight year. And it was dang good. And now I’m transitioning into eating a whole world of foods I’m not used to. If you still don’t get it, imagine this: You are used to going through the drive-thru and ordering your favorite burger and fries. One day you drive thru only to be told “Nope, today you get cold fish head. Stop being picky and eat it!”
Adjustment period folks, adjustment period. Give us a break. Besides, my mom likes to lecture about my eating habits, but I totally saw her sneak into her closet this morning and eat Peanut Butter M&Ms for BREAKFAST! She was just telling me the other day that we don’t eat candy for breakfast…
And check this out: One day I decided that I was super in love with peanut butter and I started eating it by the spoonfuls (I even retrieved it from the fridge all by myself). Someone please explain to my mom that this is something to be CELEBRATED.
2. Consistency, people! Most days I have no clue what you want from me. My mom will put my little sister down to bed and get mad at me if I start banging on my toys. “Shhh!” she says. But the moment I actually listen to her, she comes running in from the other room in a panic: “It’s quiet in here, what are you up to?” I give up.
3. You keep telling us that we need to be “Big Kids” and go on the “Big Kid Potty,” but you won’t even let me pour my own milk. How does that add up? And that brings me to another issue: Fine motor skills. You gotta trust me when I say I had no intentions on spilling red nail polish all over the brand-new carpet. You see…in my head I knew you were busy with the baby. I really wanted my nails painted (so I can be just like you), so I figured rather than bother you I would just do it by myself (since you want me to be a “big kid” anyway). But the thing is, once I started painting I just couldn’t keep my hands steady for the life of me. My muscles haven’t developed yet. (If you don’t understand, put on some oven mitts and see how well YOU do)! Anyway, I thought you might still be proud since I was able to get the polish on most of my toe (and entire foot), but instead you came in the room and gave me this reaction:
4. That reminds me. Next is communication. You (and the rest of the world) only understand 5% of what I say! All day long I try to tell you things and all day long you get it wrong. Like today, I told you that I just needed to think and you handed me a drink! What part of “ahwiehaihoiehihfte” don’t you understand? After hours of being misunderstood, it can really take a toll on my emotions. This is the wrong time to tell me that I need a nap.
See the above picture? That is NOT a girl who needs a nap. That is a girl who needs hugs, kisses, and possibly even a cookie or two.
5. Which reminds me, Do I really have to share everything? All day long you say things like, “this is mommy’s purse” or “this is daddy’s laptop” or “this isn’t for kids” and then the moment I stake my claim on something, you say “share!”
How does that even begin to make sense?
The other day I got this brand new WheelyBUG in the mail and the first thing my mom wanted me to do was share. I tried to play it cool, but the words “mine!” just kind of slipped out:
6. You want to know hard? Imagine for a second everything you love most in the world: have you imagine it? Okay, now it’s GONE! My crib, my Binky, and even my favorite exersaucer is being taken over by little sis. Some days I get all anxious and panicky just thinking about how unstable my life is:
I know I didn’t care much for these things when they were in my possession, but there’s just something about someone else having it that reminds me how awesome it was (don’t tell me you don’t understand, I’ve heard you say the same thing about your swimsuit that you gave to your sister).
7. I don’t understand why I need to wear pants. Can we just agree to disagree on this one? Because I know you are tired of putting them back on every five minutes, and to be honest I’m quite tired of having to take them OFF every five minutes. What if we met halfway? You let my pants fly free and I’ll do my best to keep the diaper on. Deal?
Except for moments like below when you think I am napping and I really want to impress you by changing my own poopy diaper.
I hope I don’t come across over-dramatic. Us two-year olds have a lot of good times too: I love it when my mom plays with me at the park, and hosts dance parties in the living room, and no one gives snuggles like she does!
I guess the purpose of this post is to let all the other toddlers out there know that I get you! I totally understand how hard your life can be sometimes. If you end up with a day that just seems too hard to bear, do what I do: call grandma!
Anyway, to all my Little People out there…I’ve whipped up this special giveaway just for you! And if you win, I give you full permission to claim all items as your very own. May the odds be ever in your favor!
Enter to win this collection of Toddler products!
Prince Lionheart Wheely BUG – Hedgehog Style ($85 value)
Bright Starts Pop and Roll Roadster & My Little Step Stool ($48 value)
Step 2 Shootin’ Hoops Pro Basketball Set™ ($54.00 value)
The Learning Journey My First Match It & Magnetic Learning Board ($29.99 value)
TruKid Hero stick and Sport stick ($25 value)
Okay. Check out the WheelyBUG! I’m so glad I asked my mom to get me one of these and I couldn’t be more thrilled to give one away as part of the Toddler’s Dream Package. They are so cute and fun and the multi-directional wheels make riding a breeze! Remember earlier when I mentioned motor skills? The wheelyBUG will help you out with that. They are made for 12+ months, and are made of wood (my mom thinks that’s a big deal). Maximum recommended rider is 50 pounds, but they have the ability to hold 300. You can find them at Babies ‘R’ Us, Target, and also on Amazon.
I can’t help but be excited as well about our next set of prizes in the giveaway. The Pop and Roll Roadster Toy is exactly what you need when you need to go blow off some steam. Parents just not understanding? Did you not get that extra cookie you so desperately wanted? Just go for a ride. I’ve taken this thing for a spin multiple times this week and I especially love the balls that roll down inside the hood and out the front. The adults are missing out! Also included in this package is your very own My Little Step Stool! Perfect for assisting you with those “big kid” potty trips (Ha! We all know you really intend to use it for getting into things! Shh…I won’t tell).
Get ready to slam dunk with the Shootin’ Hoops Pro Basketball Set™ from Step2! This adjustable basketball hoop will grow as you grow! This basketball set can be used indoors at its shortest height and then transition outdoors at its tallest height. Score! Recommended age is 2+, and since it can be adjusted as you grow, you don’t have to worry about passing this toy onto any other kids for quite some time!
I know, you are smart. That’s why you will love these prizes from the Learning Journey! I personally own several of their puzzles (as well as their magnetic board) and I LOVE this company! They do a good job of keeping kid’s best interest in mind by making their products both fun and educational. And since you love showing off your skills and practicing your colors and shapes, we’re giving away a My First match It! Colors and Shapes puzzle to help you out! And since you are extra awesome, you also get one of their brand new Magnetic Make a Shape Boards! Puzzle cards are included so that you can continue to master new skills as you get older. I’m not quite old enough for the puzzle cards, but I really enjoy just playing around with the magnetic shapes.
Us toddlers have enough to deal with, we should not have to suffer from itchy skin or dry skin rashes from eczema and skin allergies. TruKid makes a whole line of natural skin care products and today their Hero Stick and Sports Stick are part of the giveaway! TruKid is dedicated to providing extra gentle, innovative and the best skin care products so that we can go play outside, play inside, play in the bath, or just sit and read a book without painful itchy skin. Awesome!