Socks. Specifically men’s socks. I find them everywhere. And I mean everywhere. I find them in the kitchen, the living room, the home office, under our bed, the bathroom – you name a location, I’m sure I’ve found my husband’s socks there. The garage? Sure. My car? Why not? I’m going to let you in on a little secret: it drives me crazy. Now, it would be one thing if we didn’t own a laundry basket, but do you know how many we own? EIGHT. We own eight laundry baskets, yet my husband’s socks never seem to find their way to any of those.
I’ve had discussions with friends, acquaintances, and even the random lady at the store, and do you know what I’ve discovered? I am not alone. It seems that men all over the world love to leave their dirty socks all over the house, and sometimes within inches of the apparently invisible laundry basket. This is a real problem, people!!
You know what, though? Even though my house is full of dirty socks that pop up in the most mysterious places, my car is always full of gas, my computer is always updated, and a new case of Diet Coke magically appears every time I drink the last one. These are things my husband does for me because, let’s be real – I’ve been known to run out of gas while rolling into the gas station, my computer was still running windows XP when Windows 10 came out (so that’s a little bit of an exaggeration… but if my husband didn’t run updates for me, they would never get done), and I am SO BAD at remembering to restock the soft drinks in our fridge.
I’m sure your husband has little things that drive you crazy – whether it’s leaving his dirty clothes inches from the laundry basket or leaving his shoes in the middle of the living room floor, he’s got his quirks that make you go insane, right?! But wait a minute…
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What about you? We are all human. It is so easy to forget that we have those annoying little quirks, too. They might not be as glaringly obvious as socks strewn all over the house, but they’re there. I, for one, squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle, not the end, and I know that makes my husband crazy. Remembering our own flaws is an easy way to make our husbands’ flaws seem a lot more bearable.
This post isn’t about just “dealing with” your husband, though – it’s about how to love your husband. As I sat down to think about how I actively love my husband even though our house is a dirty sock graveyard, three specific things came to mind.
HOW TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND
1. Serve him. Pick up the socks. It’s easy. But don’t do it grudgingly – do it with love. Instead of mumbling about how easy it would be to just put the socks in the @*#& laundry basket, think of how great it is that your husband works hard so that you can be home to pick up his dirty socks. Serve him with a good attitude, and you will love him more.
2. Think of all the awesome things your husband does and write them down each day. I have a friend who, at the end of each day, writes a few lines in a gratitude journal. Those lines might be completely different based on the events of that day, but her last line is always about her husband. I think writing things down is so much more intentional than just a passing thought – it takes more effort, and when we put more effort into our relationships, we are going to get more out of them.
3. Put yourself in his shoes. Whether you’re doing this to observe your own flaws, to remember all of the amazing things your husband does for you, or to try and figure out why he does what he does, walk a mile in your husband’s shoes. The other day, I sat on my couch and thought about what it would be like to live my husband’s life for a day. He wakes up early, goes to work, comes home, is greeted by me throwing the baby into his arms saying something along the lines of, “FINALLY! Today was rough, can you PLEASE take the baby so I can have five minutes to pee in peace,” and then proceeds to help me cook dinner (or cook it himself – I HATE cooking), and put the kids to bed. Dude doesn’t really get much of a break – can I really blame him for leaving his socks in the middle of the floor? Should I get upset about that when he takes the time to make MY life easier? Probably not. When I thought about things this way, I began to appreciate and love my husband a whole lot more.
Sam Keen said it perfectly – “You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”
I’d love to know the ways you look past your spouse’s flaws! If you are struggling with feelings of resentment due to those annoying quirks, my challenge to you is this – this week, focus on finding those ways to love your husband (even though he can’t find the laundry basket).