Socks. Specifically men’s socks. I find them everywhere. And I mean everywhere. I find them in the kitchen, the living room, the home office, under our bed, the bathroom – you name a location, I’m sure I’ve found my husband’s socks there. The garage? Sure. My car? Why not? I’m going to let you in on a little secret: it drives me crazy. Now, it would be one thing if we didn’t own a laundry basket, but do you know how many we own? EIGHT. We own eight laundry baskets, yet my husband’s socks never seem to find their way to any of those.
I’ve had discussions with friends, acquaintances, and even the random lady at the store, and do you know what I’ve discovered? I am not alone. It seems that men all over the world love to leave their dirty socks all over the house, and sometimes within inches of the apparently invisible laundry basket. This is a real problem, people!!
You know what, though? Even though my house is full of dirty socks that pop up in the most mysterious places, my car is always full of gas, my computer is always updated, and a new case of Diet Coke magically appears every time I drink the last one. These are things my husband does for me because, let’s be real – I’ve been known to run out of gas while rolling into the gas station, my computer was still running windows XP when Windows 10 came out (so that’s a little bit of an exaggeration… but if my husband didn’t run updates for me, they would never get done), and I am SO BAD at remembering to restock the soft drinks in our fridge.
I’m sure your husband has little things that drive you crazy – whether it’s leaving his dirty clothes inches from the laundry basket or leaving his shoes in the middle of the living room floor, he’s got his quirks that make you go insane, right?! But wait a minute…
What about you? We are all human. It is so easy to forget that we have those annoying little quirks, too. They might not be as glaringly obvious as socks strewn all over the house, but they’re there. I, for one, squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle, not the end, and I know that makes my husband crazy. Remembering our own flaws is an easy way to make our husbands’ flaws seem a lot more bearable.
This post isn’t about just “dealing with” your husband, though – it’s about how to love your husband. As I sat down to think about how I actively love my husband even though our house is a dirty sock graveyard, three specific things came to mind.
HOW TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND
1. Serve him. Pick up the socks. It’s easy. But don’t do it grudgingly – do it with love. Instead of mumbling about how easy it would be to just put the socks in the @*#& laundry basket, think of how great it is that your husband works hard so that you can be home to pick up his dirty socks. Serve him with a good attitude, and you will love him more.
2. Think of all the awesome things your husband does and write them down each day. I have a friend who, at the end of each day, writes a few lines in a gratitude journal. Those lines might be completely different based on the events of that day, but her last line is always about her husband. I think writing things down is so much more intentional than just a passing thought – it takes more effort, and when we put more effort into our relationships, we are going to get more out of them.
3. Put yourself in his shoes. Whether you’re doing this to observe your own flaws, to remember all of the amazing things your husband does for you, or to try and figure out why he does what he does, walk a mile in your husband’s shoes. The other day, I sat on my couch and thought about what it would be like to live my husband’s life for a day. He wakes up early, goes to work, comes home, is greeted by me throwing the baby into his arms saying something along the lines of, “FINALLY! Today was rough, can you PLEASE take the baby so I can have five minutes to pee in peace,” and then proceeds to help me cook dinner (or cook it himself – I HATE cooking), and put the kids to bed. Dude doesn’t really get much of a break – can I really blame him for leaving his socks in the middle of the floor? Should I get upset about that when he takes the time to make MY life easier? Probably not. When I thought about things this way, I began to appreciate and love my husband a whole lot more.
Sam Keen said it perfectly – “You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”
I’d love to know the ways you look past your spouse’s flaws! If you are struggling with feelings of resentment due to those annoying quirks, my challenge to you is this – this week, focus on finding those ways to love your husband (even though he can’t find the laundry basket).
Copyright protected by Digiprove © 2016 Kristina Manscill
Alyx
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I am the picker-upper of my husband’s socks too. Sometimes it’s irritating, but most of the time I just go with it. A former pastor’s wife once encouraged a group of us to serve our husbands without complaint in these seemingly trivial ways. For her, it was the fact that he always left his dishes in the sink rather than transferring them to the empty dishwasher. Her encouragement has always stuck with me. We can choose joy even in these things.
I encourage my patients to work together with their spouses to create their own flow. Maybe my husband left his flip flops in the middle of the living room (we live in the desert, so we have these in every room during the summer!) that I chose to put away, but I left a coffee cup on my vanity that he picked up one morning. Neither of us said a word to the other. We are past the tit-for-tat stage. We just help each other out because we love each other and because we realize what’s important or a big deal and what isn’t. We aren’t perfect by any means, but we’ve figured out how to work together to make a great partnership.
He cooks…..u hate cooking. Uh? Absolutely no reason for complaints.
My husband is by best friend. Even though sometimes I moan and whine to get my way. He doesnt. He’ll simply say ok. Why can’t I do that? I do act as a personal assistant slash wife but sometimes I can be very selfish. Some days I just have to be right and he’ll submit to me. I need to learn submission is not always a weak position. I need to see that I need to allow my husband to be the great man that he is and not be a control freak.
I think you have to pick your battles. In the grand scheme of things dirty laundry is the least of our worries. My husband & I both work full time with 2 small children. A few years ago he switched to a 3rd shift job so he could see the kids more & help by picking them up from school. It has not been an easy transition but I know that he did it for us & to spend more time with us. He does not always pitch in with the household work as much as I wish he would but if I ask he will do it. Our house is far from neat & tidy but it’s filled with a mess made from a days worth of fun & love by our family. Dirty dishes mean we have plenty of food to eat, dirty clothes mean we have clean ones to wear in the first place & toys all over the house mean that my kids are happy with all that they have. I am thankful every day for all that we do have & while sometimes I get frustrated picking up after my family I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Ouch! I know you wrote this over a month ago, but it just popped up in my Pinterest feed tonight. Perfect timing as I had just been staring at my husbands clothes lying (literally) inches from our hamper and wondering how long they would stay there if I didn’t pick them up. I might still see, just for laughs, but would it really be that hard to “serve” him by picking them up? A good reminder, thanks!