Awhile back, we were taking a family drive in the car and my daughter started singing. Our 3-year old, rather rudely told her to “stop singing!”
When we asked her “why?” she responded with, “She can't sing because I want to sing.” We tried to convince our daughter that her sister's singing wasn't making her singing any less beautiful, but she wasn't easily convinced.
Sadly, This happens all to often in the mom world.
It's typically this time of year (St. Patrick's Day) that I see certain blog posts go viral that make me cringe. Like double, triple cringe.
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It goes a little some thing like this: Phrases like, “To the mom with all the crazy leprechaun antics, please STOP.” “You're setting the bar too high” “Stop making life look like Pinterest” ” and finally, “stop the madness” “I can't keep up with the expectations”
And it doesn't end with St. Patrick's Day. Christmas comes around and we get the articles about firing Santa and burning Elf on the Shelf. And all of a sudden motherhood turns into a witch hunt where moms want to raise complaints about anything out of the ordinary: “Stop with the elaborate snacks” “stop being so happy!” or how about, “Stop volunteering for everything, you're making the rest of us look bad.”
Since when does our value as moms decrease when another shines? And why do we feel guilty if our joys aren't in the same things? Is it possible that the “Pinterest-obsessed” mom might actually find an incredible amount of joy in being creative, and isn't out to shame the rest of us into feeling like we aren't enough? If it's not our thing to cut out a Shamrock banner and turn the toilet water green, then let's find joy in what is our thing, and not demand that other moms lock up their scissors.
It's almost like the mom who is good at green, demands that the world just be green.
And we forget to realize that a million things that we love about life are made possible because we are all our own hue of color
One argument I have heard is, “When other moms do these frivolous things, my kids expect me to do the same.”
Maybe, but this is just how kids are. I grew up before the days of Pinterest and I had plenty of moments when I thought, “I wish my mom did what so-and-so's mom did!”
But guess what? In the end, I'm glad that she didn't. Because my mom has her own unique talents and personality traits that make her freaking bom-diggity and I cherish who she is. My mom never made a huge deal out of holidays, or braided my hair, or even packed my school lunches. In fact, my mom hated Halloween and I never once got something from the Easter bunny. And I may have complained to her when I saw other moms doing these things, but not one of these things took away from her value as a mom. Because my mom was always awesome at being who she is. My mom is one of those people you can go to for advice on ANYTHING. Her wisdom has always been beyond her years and she always taught us the most important things growing up. Her knowledge in natural healing is something I aspire to, she's real and genuine, and her character is something to be admired. When my grandma turned old and couldn't care for herself, it was my mother who took her into her home and sacrificed several years of her life, being right at her side. My grandma and I were always close, but in her last days of life it was always my mom that she wanted right next to her at all times. (She called her, her “angel.”) These are the things that stand out in my mind about my mom and make her unique! I have to remind myself not to try to do it all, but to do what makes me, ME. That's what my kids will hopefully remember most.
And so, to the moms that demand life be purple (and I believe this is ALL of us in one way or another):
Let's remember that we can all be on the same team. Just because one of us is singing, doesn't mean the other needs to be silenced. We can all sing our own beautiful tunes, and who knows….we might just find that we harmonize.
Let's cheer each other on, praise each other for our individual greatness, and have compassion for the areas where we may struggle. Motherhood has room for all of us 🙂
What are some of YOUR favorite things to do as a mom, what makes you sing?!
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Amberly says
Amen to this!! I couldn’t agree more!!
Chelsey says
LOVE THIS!
Katelyn L Fagan says
Wonderful reminder!
Nicole Burkholder says
I love this! I am far from “Pinterest perfect” but I hate feeling like I have to apologize for taking the time to be creative in my own way. There’s nothing ruder than telling someone they “have too much time on their hands” because they have done something fun and special. Thanks for sharing your heart <3
Tina M says
Agreed 100%!!! I appreciate simplicity, but I also have a super creative spirit and have moments when I really go big and special and I have sometimes felt bashful about it because of some comments that it generates.
Kristine Ori says
Beautifully said!
PatD says
How beautifully written!!…HARMONY… Reminds me of a song I sang as a 70’s child. “???? Id like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony….????”????
wearehe8 says
I love this! Every mother should read this! You are so right, mothers need to find something they love, something they have passion for.
The society we live in today is teaching our kids more and more to focus on what others have instead of themselves. This goes for everything. I also remember the good ol’ days before high tech technology was big. Even then, like you, I would always compare my friends parents to my own parents. But I’m glad I have the strong parents that I have today. Kids don’t understand that until they are older or have kids of their own.
Thank you for sharing this post!
Heidi says
I love this for two reasons. I have been on both sides of this. I’ve had parents shake their heads and roll their eyes when they come to my parties…which are HUGE! I have big parties for my kids (until they reach 10 or 11 and then they get smaller) birthdays. And they are FUN and awesome and it’s one thing that I LOVE doing! (I’m Pinky Pie from My Little Ponies) BUT I feel like I’m falling behind on all the other mom stuff that other moms do. Like the cute clothes, the hairstyles, the lunches, etc.